The survival of civilization, democracy and fair, sustainable development depends on an almost unique and completely overlooked factor: civility.
Its opposite is better known: incivility, that intolerable attitude which allows us to ignore the consequences of our actions on those around us, and on the community as a whole.
Incivility begins with rudeness, which consists in not behaving kindly towards all people, known or unknown, whom you may meet; in saying neither hello nor thank you; in not asking about them; in walking past them in queues ; acting in their neighborhood as if they weren’t there; throwing cigarette butts or garbage in the street or in front of neighbors’ homes; talking loudly on the phone on public transport; playing a radio at the top of your voice at home, in the car or in a public place.
Incivility continues with light fraud, which begins when you discreetly throw away bulky objects some distance from your home, and continues when you rig your electricity meter (as more than 100,000 French households did in 2024, resulting in significant reductions in revenue for the electricity operator, who is then obliged to pass on the cost to other users).
Incivility continues with heavy fraud; when you cheat the taxman or the social services, to avoid paying your share of public services or to benefit from allowances to which you are not entitled; when you bribe a civil servant; when you embezzle public money.
Incivility develops when we trample on scientific evidence, to pollute nature, upset the climate and ruin the lives of future generations, as we’ve just done in France (with the Duplomb law, and with all the advantages given to road over rail) and in the United States (with President Trump’s decisions that we seem to be trying to copy).
Incivility is also expressed when we fail to recognize – and this is increasingly frequent – that we belong to the entire national community, but only to a sub-community; and when we consider that we have obligations only to those who belong to this sub-community. Incivility can thus be expressed by putting religious laws before the law of the Republic, or by considering it lawful to break laws that annoy us.
Incivility is then confused with incivism.
Incivility is not a particularly French evil. It’s just as much to be found on the streets of emerging countries, where so much garbage is strewn about, as it is among many (not all) of the world’s billionaires, who devote a great deal of energy to paying as little tax as possible.
It is the extreme form of the “me first” mentality that has plagued all human communities since the dawn of time. Incivility makes the perpetrator a stowaway who takes advantage of what a country has to offer without paying his fair share. It’s always a stupid thing to do, and then it quickly falls on its perpetrator.
History teaches us that this “me first” attitude is destructive. Incivility destroys society: by degrading nature, by breaking down the sense of solidarity and loyalty that underpins a community. It calls into question citizenship and democracy. Incivility is also the source of many collective misfortunes and epidemics, as we have known since at least the Great Plague.
Montesquieu described it as “the sign of the decadence of a people’s morals”. And George Orwell adds: “Incivility is not an act of rebellion, but the expression of a lazy contempt for civilization”.
Curiously, while there are indices measuring and comparing the level of tax evasion or criminality in all countries, there is, to my knowledge, no index of civility. And yet, it would be essential. For such a measure could provide a warning of the danger involved when civility deteriorates.
In fact, when this feeling of civility deteriorates, it’s the nation that deteriorates; and then only force and fear are left to impose respect for the conditions of living together: the streets of dictatorships are sometimes much better kept than those of many democracies.
And for a democracy to achieve this, for it to be able to demand civil behavior from its citizens, it must provide them with an environment recognized as just, or at least as legitimate.
Only a serious education can make everyone aware of the importance of politeness, of work for all, of respect for others, for nature and the commons, of civility. This is taught, by the way, in almost every school in the world. It is taught, very seriously, in a few countries, including Finland and Singapore. Rarer still are the countries where it is repeated throughout the ages and to everyone that civility is a natural virtue and a great national cause.
Be civil. Respect others as much as yourself. It’s a prerequisite for your well-being and the survival of any society, especially a democracy.
Once again, Victor Hugo said it all when he wrote in “Choses vues”: “Incivility is not freedom, it’s cowardice”. Let’s all have the courage, the difficult courage, of civility.
Illustration photo: BLUEBUDGIE / PIXABAY